MY
BROTHER
By: Shiro De Arimasu
Rio
and I were different in all aspects, except our face and our parents. Yeah, we
were identical twins. Unlike the other twins, I really hated this fate. I didn’t
hate God, but I just didn’t like having same face with him.
My
brother was a perfect boy, but I was bad. He always got first rank in the
school, but I got the last. He schooled in the best high school in our city,
yet I did not. He had many girls who admired him, but I didn’t have anyone. He
always got everything he wanted, but I didn’t, including our parents’ affection.
We were same, but we were so different.
We
schooled in different place. My school lay beside Rio’s school. Everybody could
seem the contrast. Mine was the worst school in our city, a place where bad
boys and girls. Its students never minded about lesson, test, or future. In the
other hand, Rio’s school was the best school in the city. The students there
always seemed neat, clever, and smart, such as Rio. Our school was just
separated by iron fence.
A year ago, I had being fallen in love with a
girl who schooled there. I didn’t know her name. I just knew she was very
beautiful and adorable. When break time, she always sat on the chair under tree
in the park of her school. I was too afraid just to say hello to her. I just
could see her from fence from my school’s side.
This
was a lazy Monday morning in winter. I could hear my mom called my name at a
thousand times. I knew that I had to wake up and ended my dream about that girl.
I felt so dizzy because I spent all night long playing game online.
My
body couldn’t move from my bed. I tried to wake up and sat on my bed. “Yeah, I
have woken up, Mom,” I said heavily.
I
knew the consequence if I didn’t wake up as soon as possible when my mom called
me. She would start comparing me with my brother. I really hated when she told
about him and his achievements admiringly. My mom always thought he was the
best son who she had, but I was not.
I
took a towel and took a bath. Then, I wore my uniform and my shoes in disorder.
I put my bag school. I opened my room’s door. Unlucky morning, I found Rio in
front of my face!
He didn’t
wear his uniform, and he was still in his pajamas and his blanket. He was
sitting and watching on television. His face seemed so pale and listless.
I
knew that he came back late last night. I didn’t know what he did last night in
the cold winter.
“Are
you sick?” I asked curiously, tried to begin conversation.
“It
is not your business, Rei,” he answered flatly.
“Yeah,
that’s why I can’t like you. You are annoying guy!” I barked.
I
really felt regret why I had greeted him first. He had broken my morning. He
was annoying boy I’ve ever known. I didn’t like him, and he did too.
I
seldom saw him sick. He always kept his body health even though it was winter. I
remembered the last he was sick was when we were ten years old. He wouldn’t let
his lesson how difficult condition is. I guessed now he was so sick and really
couldn’t go to his school.
Suddenly,
I had a crazy idea. I just wanted to beg a chance to feel how he lived just for
one day. I just wanted to go to that school and met that girl. I just wanted to
know that girl’s name. I just wanted to talk with her once. I just wanted
those. I promised, I didn’t beg anything else. The biggest problem was did he
want to let me do these? I don’t think so.
Secretly,
I went to clothes room on the second floor my house. I took his uniform and his
warm jacket and wore it neatly as soon as I got that crazy idea. I combed my
hair as Rio did. I went to school secretly without greeting my mom and my dad.
My
heart beat so quickly. My breath was not stable. My knees shook uncontrollably.
I encouraged myself, “This is first chance and the last for me to do that. All
is well. I believe that nobody can
distinguish me and him, except my parents.”
Our
school lay near from our home. Therefore, I just went there by walking.
Finally,
I arrived at his school. I gazed around the school. I was looking for that girl
and my (Rio’s) class while I was trying to control my heart beat which I
thought it would break out.
There
were three main buildings. I didn’t know which Rio’s class building. I just
went straight without knew anything. I came into the biggest building. I
watched many students wore uniforms neatly. Every student was bringing many
books on their hands. It was very different with my school which every morning
its students just felt lazy and gossiped with the others.
I
gazed around. Many girls here were watching me admiringly. I knew that Rio was
a popular guy. I was look like a celebrity who was walking along red carpet. My
heart beat more calmly than before. At second moment, I enjoyed being Rio,
popular guy in this school.
When
I arrived at the corridor, I heard there was a voice called my brother’s name. I
turned around to see the owner of voice. Unbelievable! That was a girl who I
was looking for. My heart stopped for a while. I couldn’t breathe or move.
“Hei
Rio, wait for me!” she smiled at me.
Oh
my God, I could see her face clearly. How beautiful she was. She had long
straight hair. She was a kind of beauty in the world. She was more beautiful
than Korean actress, such as Song Hye Kyo or Jang Mi Ri who my mom always watched
on TV every evening.
I
couldn’t say anything. My mouth became freeze. My knee was shaking quickly. She
knew me, I meant Rio.
“Why
do you look at me like that? I am scared hihihi,” she laughed crunchy. “Let me
guess! You couldn’t sleep tightly because of what happened yesterday, isn’t it?
That was unforgettable moment that I have. And you?”
I
was shocked. What have happened yesterday?
I didn’t know. I was not Rio, but I was Rei. I didn’t know what I had to
say or just to call her name. I didn’t know anything.
“Rio,
what’s wrong? Is there anything wrong with me?”
“Oh
no, I’m just… I’m just… thinking how beautiful you are,” I said awkwardly. Oh
my God, what have I done? My cheek became so red. I could hear my heart beat
more loudly.
“Hahaha…
Really? Thank you,” her face became so red too. “Rio, I have to say something
to you after school. Please meet me behind the school building.”
“What
will you say to me? Can you tell me now?” I asked so curiously.
She
was thinking for awhile, “Ehemm… Ok. Let me tell you. I was very happy when you
asked me for watching movie together last night and also when you gave me your jacket
to make me warmth last night. I am happy because you were not sick because of
what you did last night. Uhmm… I have thought I want to be your girlfriend as
you have asked me last night. I can’t believe that you have chosen me of the
other girls here who admire you.”
My
heart stopped beating for awhile. There was thunder exploded me and made my
world become so dark. I could not make a sound.
“Rio,
what’s going on? Are you sick? Or I have said something wrong? I am sorry… I
don’t know. I just….”
“I…
I love you, but I can’t be with you because I am not…,”
“Ok.
I get the point. I’m sorry. I’m so shy because of this chaos. I don’t deserve
to be your girlfriend,” she cut quickly.
“No,
no… I am not...,” I couldn’t make a sound. I just wanted to say that I WAS NOT
RIO.
Her
tears fell from her eyes. She ran away. I just could see her back.
The
ringing of the school bell made me realize it was not dream. I saw all of
students come into their classes.
I
couldn’t think anything, I just wanted to run and run as far as I can and as
fast as I can until I arrived at the river.
I
saw my face on the snowy river. I hated myself more than I hated Rio. I
realized I am a loser. I had made her cry. Rio more deserved her than me. Rio
was popular and she was beautiful. He was more appropriate.
I
realized that sometime love was like domino game which I always played every
night. I fell for her, but she fell for someone else.
I
went home. I didn’t find my parents anywhere, but there was Rio in the living room
had waited for hitting my face.
He
beat up me as he pleased. I fell down on the carpet and I could feel my blood
from my nose. I didn’t against. I thought I deserve these.
“Why
do you don’t beat me back, Jerk? You are loser!” Rio barked me.
“I
deserve it. I realize I am loser. Hit me again!” I said. “HIT ME!!!” I screamed
as loud as I can.
“You
are fool! I do this to make you realize that if you want anything you have to
try by yourself. I was so angry with you because of what you did to me and
Kate. But, I was disappointed with you who are envy of me. Why you don’t try by
yourself to be better than me!” he screamed at my face. “You are my brother,
but you treat me like your enemy,” he stopped beating me.
“It’s
because you treat me cruel,” I cried. “I was envy with you. You always get
everything you want, including our parents’ affection and also Kate’s love!”
“Fool!
You are my only brother. I always expect you and me can study and play
together, but I always think there is far distance between us even though we
are in the same home” he cried. “I was not angry because you love Kate. We can
be a rival if you want, although we are brothers,” he continued. His tears fell
from his eyes. In my memory, it was first time I saw him cried. I never knew
that a perfect person also could cry.
“Don’t
be envy of me, please. I believe you can do and get I had if you want to try.”
I
just kept silent and felt listless. I didn’t know he thought about me like
that. I had wrong judgment toward him.
I
hold him tightly. ”I am so sorry.”
“Never
mind,” he said sincerely.
My
mom went home and was angry when she looked all chaos.
After
that, I begged Kate’s phone number from my brother. I phoned her and told her
the truth. I apologized to her and she forgave me.
Now,
Kate and I became friend. Moreover, I realized that Rio was more than just a
brother and friend who was always ready to share my problems. He also became my
teacher who taught me anytime.
